Conspicuous consumption

New year, new beginnings and all that malarkey. One thing that always strikes me is consumption. I’m not immune to buying things but each year I become more aware of the impact to the environment. Anyone ever get Amazonesia? I do. My distraction levels are epic and I’m a master of multitasking (or so I think) so much so that very often I’ll forget what I ordered.

So to bring a bit of order back I’m being very aware of what I spend and why. The why is important. Yesterday I bought curtain rail gliders and a bigger pet carrier. Mr Pushkin no longer fits into the handbag style carrier I got when he was skinny 😂

For 2023 I’ll not be doing resolutions but instead I’ll just continue to focus on my short,medium and long term goals focus is the one thing I want to get better at. Even now I can’t just sit and watch a movie. Instead I’m listening to it as I’ve read the book (Where the Crawdads Sing) and typing this blog post.

So irrespective of who reads this and why, I’ll keep posting and finding freedom in letting go of being worried all the time.

Dinner tonight was interesting, a tin (past it’s date by a year but I hate food waste) of chakalaka added to an amazing beef stew with mashed carrot (again revived with water) and potatoes. YUMMY 🤤

I’ve had my 4th Covid Booster jab (yesterday) and felt rubbish all of today, body aching and headache but it’s getting better so I’m sure I’ll be right as rain tomorrow in time for the full moon in Cancer ♋️ tomorrow. It will bring us focus on the home and what matters to us in terms of emotional security. The Wolf moon often wants us to be alone and our intuition heightens. Embrace alone time 🧘‍♀️

Sunday will be a great day to be creative. Get the pens and pencils out, draw, write, colour in. Sew, knit, crochet, quilt, or whatever takes your fancy – maybe cook something spectacular.

Whatever you do or buy, do it with awareness and thought. Love your best life 🥰

New beginnings

every morning is a fresh start

As I look back since I last blogged I know that so much has changed in my life. I am trying hard not to look back but instead to focus on today and the days ahead. My transient nomadic existence since separating from my husband and moving out of the family home is coming to an end which is something I am really looking forward to. I have dreams and hopes for the future, my future and this period of introspection and feeling of being out of place has served a purpose that I am slowly coming to appreciate. I have been incredibly lonely, upset, disillusioned and hopeful at the same time. Life has not always dealt me the hand I had hoped for and perhaps part of that was down to my poor choices and lack of confidence in my own capabilities. This post is to celebrate me – who I have become and as a reminder to myself that I am enough…

I am a strong South African born woman of Irish decent who has overcome the middle child syndrome and had a few really amazing love adventures. My loves have all taught me something about myself and for that I am grateful. My loves have all in one way hurt me to a degree that has forever scarred my heart and reduced the trust needed in men. I have come through emotional, physical and sexual abuse in one form or another. I have brought up (pretty independently) two son’s and financially supported both myself and both my ex husbands. I have grown in confidence at each hurdle and I am now at a stage where I am returning to my authentic self. This is someone I lost along the way by trying to fit in and change to suit the will of others.

Recently, very recently, I have begun the journey of self discovery and it is hard to look at yourself in the mirror and ask “who are you” and not know the answer. But it is a journey I will persevere and I know in my heart that good times are coming. I know I will open myself up for potentially more hurt from a man but I also know if I do not open myself up for love I will potentially miss out on experiencing the true balance of equal affection not hindered by a lopsided status quo where I am the ‘provider’ and I am the one doing all the compromising.

I have also been writing 3 pages every day which loosely follows the edict of ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron. Come early January when I move into my new flat I fully intend doing the 12 week course and embracing my creative journey. While I work in the digital technology space and while I love what I do, I have suppressed my creativity for a very very long time. I want to draw, paint, write, craft and express myself through my art and my yoga. I want to embrace the woman I am meant to be, or as a young man said to me in Harrogate recently – I am a free spirit type of woman…he did not realise what a compliment that was – aside from the fact he and his friend were pretty much trying to hit on my sister and myself despite both of them being younger than our oldest children. So thank you to the stranger – thank you for the compliment and I will take what the universe shows me and embrace things that feel right even if they are against societal conformity.

New beginnings do not need to start on 01/01/2022 – anyone reading this, embrace life, live your best life and if it is no longer fun or you feel something no longer serves you – communicate – if it does not change then have the courage to move on.

2020 will be better

I hardly wrote in 2019. It was a truly horrible year for me. I’m really glad it’s over! Here is to 2020 and all the positive things that I plan.

I am doing Vejanuary and it’s day 2. It’s not terribly difficult but I’m finding milk for my coffee a bit of a challenge so I’ve gone back to drinking black coffee at home and soy/oat/coconut or almond if buying a coffee out. I think the way coffees are made in shops differ from just adding the milk alternatives to my home made coffee 😂.

Other things I’ve taken on are the #fade2020 crochet temperature blanket. https://itsallinanutshell.com/2019/12/13/faded-fantasy-temperature-blanket-2020-free-pattern-colorway-and-yarn-amounts/

Also hope to not buy any new clothing unless I really need it. I have so much fabric that I’m hoping to make at least one item of clothing a month in 2020.

Finally, I’m decluttering 2020 items this year. Either selling or giving away. Most will be CDs as we don’t even have anything to play them on anymore.

Happy New Year 🥳

January progress report 😂

So much done in a few weeks since I last blogged. I’ve made progress on several of my 50 to 50. Work on my walking distance fitness in preparation for the Hadrians Wall walk, various yoga classes and reading as part of my yoga teacher training preparation and this morning I cooked a favourite South Indian dish as part of my learning to cook new things!! UFO updates too!

First the walking. We’ve agreed on when to do the walk, end of July to celebrate hubby finishing his 3 year counselling course and the renovation of our home as well as his birthday 🥳👍🏻. We’ve started increasing our steps by walking more each day. I’m averaging 6 miles (10km) a day and a bit longer on the weekends. We’ve agreed that we don’t fancy camping or even glamping. So a new search for places to rest at night along the route is in hand. We’ve also read a bit about which way to walk, west to East or vice versa. As the former is gentler on the feet that’s our current preferred option.

Update on yoga is I’m doing way more than before and reading a lot about anatomy. My focus has shifted from pushing myself into advanced poses to focusing on adjusting the more basic poses to understand how small changes improve the pose. I’m also spending a lot of time on breathe work. Mindfulness and meditation also feature a lot in my yoga 🧘‍♀️

Today I cooked a favourite South Indian breakfast. Marsala Dosa! While the Dosa batter was not made from scratch I did cook the potato curry. Potato Marsala recipe is dead easy but I think I needed to soak one of the dals!!

Above are my pretty good effort for the first time Marsala Dosa!!

I’ve also KonMarie’d my closet and finished a few UFOS including my Sophie’s Universe stool!!

Ok so I still need to make the booties for the legs but the main stool cover was challenging 🤪

Today I’m chilling a bit after feeling a bit under the weather as we’ve a lot of lurgies in the office and I cannot afford to be sick as work is hectic.

I will blog a bit more frequently. Perhaps on Thursday when I’m off to the spa for the day. Could even include a video of me and my friend trying our hand at a hula hoop class 😲

Happy Sunday everyone

Quiet Christmas in the sunshine

Not quite the heat levels I’d hoped for but Calahonda near Malaga is still warmer than where I normally call home in the U.K.! We’ve been here since Saturday evening and have enjoyed quite a few lovely days of sunshine together with beautiful views of the ocean from our balcony.

I’ve also managed to work on my UFO’s!!! Joes toes slippers are complete and pretty comfy. I didn’t bring the right needle to do the appliqué flowers but the slippers are functional.

I’ve also managed to make a dent to the yoga teacher training pre-reading list with Mark Stephens ‘Teaching Yoga” book.

It takes longer to read when you have to make notes too!! So far so good really. Another action on my 50 to 50 is doing yoga more regularly and I’ve done that on holiday too 👍🏻

Finally doing my Scheepjes Sophie’s stool crochet. Hoping to finish it by the time we return home on Saturday.

So overall a nice quiet Christmas and looking forward to 2019!

Book 1 of 12 finished 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I’ve gone and done it!! Not only finished Pride and Prejudice but scratched off the gold on my poster!

As part of my 50 to 50 I decided to read 12 classic books on my scratch off poster. Hi started with a favourite and completed it this morning. I’ve defaced the poster and added a date. 🤓

Now I need to decide what my next book should be. While I decide I will start one of my Yoga teacher training books.

594 pages!!! I’ve got seven books as per reading that are all around this length. Thankfully I’m a quick reader but with work and other reading going on I’m not sure I’ll complete all pre reading by early February 🤪

For anyone interested, the poster I have is available online. I had mine mounted by my local picture framing place. Pop Chart Lab

A whole month has passed today

One month into my 12 months to 50 and on reflection I’ve been pretty busy. I have been learning new words, however, try as I might the opportunities to use any of them elude me. There isn’t much need to waft on about being an opsimath or try to explain my alexithymia to anyone.

Perhaps in a few weeks I can talk about being a thalassophile and how I plan to apricate on holiday. And I do hope I succeed in overcoming any atelophobia. Yeah I know, they don’t quite fall into casual conversation. 😂🤷‍♀️🙄

As I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post I work in IT in the retail sector but perhaps I’ve not divulged my somewhat at odd idea of being a really bad shopper. I just don’t enjoy spending money unless I need to.

Well let me tell you a secret. I’m a fraud. Over the past few weeks (yes WEEKS) I’ve been sorting out my sewing room and came up with the idea to catalogue my fabric. That’s why I’m a fraud. While I’m not so keen on clothes, shoes or makeup, I cannot resist fabric. My collection is staggering.

I’ve so far only catalogued 30 pieces of fabric. It’s probably a fifth of my collection. That my collection is pretty vast is one thing but instead of the odd metre or two very many of the 30 pieces measured over 4m!!!

On reflecting how contradictory my retail views were I then proceeded to cough up and finally buy myself a decent pair of noise cancelling earphones. Bose C35 II in limited edition navy. The idea of being on a reasonably long flight with over excited children of other passengers while I try read my book was the clincher. Hubby has a pair from an earlier version and they are amazing.

I’m writing this in a pub while waiting for friends from Wales. Another splurge on the budget was having my dinner here. Since hubby gave up work we’ve been really good and not eaten out but twice in the last 7 days I’ve not eaten home cooked meals 😲 they were delicious. Had a fab dinner with the girls on Friday at Zizzi’s and tonight had fabulous pub grub at The Victoria, both in Hitchin – my adopted home town.

Progress on the other 50 to 50 is we’ve settled on a month for the coast to coast walk – June 2019. Reason being its before school summer holidays and midge season as well as the home renovation work will be nearing an end. Come January I start training. Walking 20 miles a day will take some effort!

The other area has been trying new drinks. I’ve had several different gins and tried 2 new beers. Both beers were gluten free and remarkably yummy.

I’m steadily making progress on my UFOS with the hardest one being my Ubuntu blanket. Last night I joined all the diamonds and plan to complete the hexagon tomorrow night and move onto the epic border. This blanket will end up being nearly 2m in diameter. I don’t do things by half measures.

So the end of a long post. This is what happens when I’m super early and too embarrassed to read my book while sipping water in a pub. Too cliched considering the book is Pride and Prejudice 😂😂😂

Till next week!

Exhausted 😩

That about sums up my week. Thankfully I know it will continue to be exhausting for a bit, however I also know we go on holiday in 33 days!

I enjoyed making progress on my Ubuntu crochet along, even if I’m a few weeks behind the official guide. I was over the moon meeting the founder of the Bullet Journal method and hearing how he came up with it was the highlight of my week.

I lost a bit of myself trying to learn how to code though and that’s probably the route cause of being exhausted. I try really hard to learn new things but learning to code is a major mental blocker for me. Unfortunately I don’t have a choice about it anymore as it’s a required skill at work. I know it will sink in eventually but by Friday I was close to tears a few times. Tears of total frustration. 😩

Anyway I’ve made progress on my 50 to 50 including trying a new drink! Gluten-free beer 🍻 who knew such a thing even existed 😂😂😂 and that it would be so tasty!

Trello,BUJO and other adventures

Turning 49 was a relatively quiet event.  As I have left all forms of social media only 1 friend actually remembered my birthday.  It felt really weird but just goes to show how much society now relies on social media to keep up to date.

The first week has flown by, so much so that I missed my weekly blog commitment by a day.  I had intended on writing this blog last night however I kind of injured my neck on Saturday and then had lots of cold wind on it while on the beach yesterday so got home to one very sore neck and one very grumpy me.

I have now set up a trello board with all the items friends suggested as well as 12 of my own items.  I then decided to label the items depending on complexity and cost.  I went from ‘easy’ through ‘bonkers’ to my favourite one of ‘I will be impressed if I do it’.  Clearly my friends do have a sense of humour.

Progress has been good all things considered.  Work has been taking up way more of my time than I am paid for however I know it is a temporary thing and things should calm down a bit now we are in an IT Change Freeze.

I have learnt a new word and it was from the book on lost words that I took out of the library.  ‘Opsimath’ which is someone who learns or studies late in life.  Some of my friends do not consider me to be in later life but I think 49 is getting there, I mean really I do seem to be doing things backwards.  Deciding to finally go after my yoga teacher qualification when I have been practicing yoga for over 30 years is one example.  Getting a University Degree at 44 is not really the done thing so who knows the coming year could be a case of learning late in life – who learns to swim at 49! ha ha ha

I am back doing my BUJO (Bullet Journaling) and I am super excited to be meeting the founder of BUJO on 14/11/2018.  He is doing a world tour to promote his book and I have made a plan to go and hear him out.  I have been BUJO’ing for about 4 years now, so a bit of an early adopter.  I like it as it is a totally analogue way of managing your time and life.  It is so simple but also can be really creative when you want it to be.  My November spread is one of my favourite ones for a long time.

Time is up for now. I’ll probably get a mid week blog in as I’m on training later in the week and that may just terrify me enough to blog about it. Apparently I’m going to leave the course on 20/11 knowing a bit more about coding 😲😉🤷‍♀️🤯

Day before the start of my 50 to 50

It is the night before my 49th birthday.  Today has been hectic from a work perspective and will remain hectic through the next 7 or 8 weeks to get through Black Friday, Christmas and Clearance.  So, a few updates on progress:

• I now have a kanban of items in my Trello board
• I have given each of the items a label based on my view of how easy or hard the task is, these labels are:
  • Easy to achieve
  • Marginally expensive
  • Expensive
  • Bonkers
  • If I do it, I’ll impress myself
• I have columns in my Kanban from Backlog to Done and so far have one item in Doing and a further 6 in Planning.  The balance of the 50 plus a few more for extra measure are in Backlog.

I aim to blog weekly with updates on what is progressing, what is done and who knows, maybe even some actual metrics around cumulative flow and cycle time.  YUP, I have been on an Agile course and I am applying it as usual to my life.

Watch this space for regular updates, if you want to contribute to my trello board do ping me a message.